"Selfish-Me"

Russell Crowe said that the birth of his son gave him a new set of priorities. Hollywood wasn't as important anymore.

The one thing that you lose when your priorities change like Russell's, is your 'me-time'. Most husbands give so much of themselves that their emotional cylinder runs dry. And this situation doesn't help anyone. I know. It's happened to me.

So here is my "Selfish-Me" list for fuel:

1. Buy a Classical Guitar and learn to play.

My dad had a guitar. He never seemed to carry a tune through to the end but that didn't matter. He strummed and jammed and seemed to be so content at that. My sister and I would simply sit listening bobbing our heads. I intend to pick up where dad left off and at least get to the chorus. :-)

2. Go back to Tai Chi.

I've lost contact with my first Tai Chi Master. Raph. This amazing man had the balls to negotiate a contract with me I will never forget. I was in my mid 20's and he suggested that we agree to the following terms: Every time I attended a class I would not be held liable for payment. On the other hand for every class I missed I would have to pay him a forfeit. He got rich. Clearly a man ahead of his time. It's time for me to find a Raph.

3. Draw.

Simple isn't it? I have been given a gift. I can draw. Uncomplicated sketches. Pencil. Ink. Charcoal. Pastel. But do I sit down and use it? No. I'm too busy in front of my beautiful MacBook Pro. Selfish-Me no. 3. Take out the crayons and draw something.

4. Crazy Golf.

"This golf is crazy dad". On a few occasions I've taken my 2 boys (aged 2 and 4) to the local crazy golf. It's a magnificent exchange for a Psychologists couch. And cheaper too. We get there early and I never keep score. That's not the point. The point is to walk around the courses and talk. They poke their clubs into the Koi Pond and chase the ducks. They loose their balls in the ponds and start on the wrong end of the courses. It's messy. It's adventurous. It's fuel for the soul. Take a tip. Let 2 toddlers show you how to play golf and you will drive home with a heart the size of Kansas.

5. Give toys to charity.

Okay. Maybe this one doesn't belong to Selfish-Me. But let me explain. We have tons of toys way past their sell-by date. Many are perfect in every way. Dolls, cars, stuffed, puffed, trains, planes and games.

I would love for my kids to collect them all and with their blessing give them away to a charity of their choice. This will be like driving up to the local service station and filling up with high-octane-super-de-dooper emotional fuel. I rest my case.

So there you have it. 5 'Selfish-Me' goals. What might yours be?

Addendum:

Have you ever listened to the emergency procedure on any airline before take-off? "In the event of an emergency an oxygen mask will drop from the overhead structure above you. Pull the mask nearest to you and place it firmly over your nose and mouth before helping your fellow passengers." I love this. An immediate reaction would be to grab a mask and place it over your 3yr old toddler .. or 85 yr old grandmother. But what good are you if you run out of air?

My oxygen often comes from spending an evening with my wife. This is therapy.

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